Think thoughts of defeat or failure and you are bound to be discouraged. Think thoughts of success and you may feel an increase in motivation and happiness. Belief is an incredibly powerful state of mind. Our own beliefs not only shape us as individuals, but also determine our potential. Henry Ford was correct when he said, “whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.” Your belief system is like your computer, it doesn’t judge what you input; it simply accepts it as the truth. Beliefs are integral to the boundaries that we set ourselves and impact greatly on our expectations and relationships we have with others, including our children. Many people come into therapy struggling with boundaries that they have set themselves, which have resulted in feelings of anxiety, low confidence and poor self-esteem. Some clients also present with a conflict of emotions over boundaries that they have been set by others, sometimes even historically, as a child.

Setting your own

Becoming aware of boundaries, for our own self-preservation is essential to ensure we avoid burnout, whilst developing and maintaining healthy relationships with others. The following suggestions are some ways that we can adapt our boundaries to ensure we are meeting our own needs.

· Become aware-consciously identify what your needs are and the needs of others around you.

· Know what needs to be done by yourself and what you can allocate to other people to take on.

· Set your own boundaries and limits-this can include your space, time, contact and how tolerant you are of others.

We should be encouraging the same principles with our children.

Top tips for navigating your own boundaries:

· Know your limits.

· Be clear with your expectations.

· Be realistic with your time and resources.

· Set time aside for you each day-whether it’s ten minutes or a whole morning, where you can just be aware of your feelings.

· Allocate time for reflection and reset your boundaries when you need to.