• Kirsty Jordan-Abundance TEC

Self Care Sunday Series

With guest blogger, fantastic business woman and super Mummy Kelly Squires.

I was so thrilled and flattered to be asked by Kirsty to take part in her Self Care Sunday’s Series, but as I sat down to write my guest blog, it suddenly made me stop and think ‘what do I do in my life that is just for me?’ 

I’m sure a lot of mums can relate, how easy it is lose yourself after becoming a mum. I’m now a single mum to a darling 7 year old boy and 3 year old twins who really do live up to their name of ‘double trouble’, so life generally can be pretty chaotic. 

I remember once reading a quote that said ‘Money is a measurement of how rich you are but time is a measurement of how wealthy you are’ and it took me a long time to fully understand and appreciate what that meant. 

When I was doing my A levels, I was pretty set that I wanted to go to London School of Fashion to study Fashion Promotion. Fashion had always been a passion of mine, I’ve not always been on point with my fashion choices though, as my old photo albums would show, but it was something I that I loved. At the last minute, I was offered an opportunity to work for the Bank of England, for what seemed like a huge amount of money for a school leaver, so I followed the money and went straight into full time work. I worked there for a few years but it was just a job to me, I wasn’t passionate about going into work and so from there, I jumped from various jobs, learning as I went but never really feeling that it was something I wanted to do forever. 

It was after Frankie was born, I really decided to make a change. I wanted to give him something, a future, a legacy if you like, so when Frankie was only 9 months old, me and my ‘then’ partner, started up a car & van hire company. At the beginning, I worked 7 days a week with Frankie with me, in his make shift play area in my office. It was hard work, literally juggling being a new mum and a new business owner, and there were days where I was so mentally exhausted, I’d fall asleep the moment I got home. But I was determined to make it a success. The hard work, determination, blood, sweat and tears paid off and got our business to the point where I could employ staff to run the business, allowing me to step back from the day to day running of the business. All that hard work had been rewarded by giving me the gift of time. I now had that time to spend with Frankie going to the park or just having a lazy day indoors watching movies. And now I also have my twin girls, which, I’m not going to lie, is like 2 full time jobs. 

I’ve been both a working mum and a full time mum and I can tell you, that both are equally as hard work and equally as rewarding. But it brings me back to my question ‘what do I do which is just for me?’ 

It took me a little while to realise what I do that’s just for me. Originally when I thought about ‘self care’, I thought ‘I don’t get time off from the kids or get my nails done or go and treat myself to a massage’ but then I realised that self care is so much more than taking an afternoon off to rest and relax, although if anyone offered it, I wouldn’t turn it down. 

Self care is about believing in yourself and being kind to yourself every day. We need to start being kind to ourselves like we are to our friends, sisters and even strangers, and start focusing on our positives, instead of our perceived flaws. I say ‘perceived flaws’ because they are more often than not, flaws that only we think we have. We all see the hashtag ‘be kind’ but how many of us can honestly put our hands up and say we are kind to ourselves? How many of us compare ourselves to images of other women we see on Instagram and criticise ourselves? How many of us compare ourselves to other mums on Facebook and feel mum guilt that we haven’t baked 4 cakes, been to the zoo, made a picture out of leaves and built a playhouse this week? 

We are not selfish if we don’t want to have 20 different child based activities set out every week, we are not selfish if we want a child free night out with friends, we are not selfish if we want something that is just for us!

For me, that was finally going back to something I’m passionate about, Fashion. I’ve now launched a little fashion website selling women’s fashion online, and it is something I do that is just for me. And for a while, I’m not mum, I’m Kelly again. And whilst being a mum is without a doubt my proudest achievement and brings me so much joy, its all too easy to lose your sense of self when you become a mum. For me, this little side project is something to remind me of who I am, aside from being a mum. To reignite a confidence and passion in me, that I forgot about 15 years ago. It is something that makes me happy, and despite the success of the car & van hire business, it’s seeing a picture of a customer in one of my outfits that makes me do a little happy dance. 

And so I finally understood the quote ‘Money is a measurement of how rich you are, time is a measurement of how wealthy you are’. And I would take time over money, every single time.

Kelly's businesses can be found on social media as well as the following links:

Over the next few weeks Abundance TEC will be featuring guest bloggers on our website and social media platforms to support Self-Care Sunday.

The aim is to raise awareness as to why self-care is so important and to highlight a variety of ways you can implement self-care into your everyday routine to support positive mental health and well-being.These inspiring business owners and bloggers will be providing their own version of what self-care means to them and why they do what they do to look after themselves.

Thank you to the beautiful, business-savvy, intelligent and wonderful Kelly for sharing her self-care tips, journey and passion this week.

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