Self Care Sunday Series
With guest blogger, fantastic tutor, teacher and inspiring Mummy Kylie, founder of KJ Prime Tutoring .
Hi, I'm Kylie; founder of KJ Prime Tutoring, a primary school teacher and mummy of two girls who are 5 and 9 months.
Recently, I've been thinking long and hard about what being mindful is and the importance of knowing about our own mindset in order to be able to give ourselves the self-care we deserve. It wasn't until a chat with a friend a few weeks ago that I realised that being mindful is recognising that you're not feeling great but knowing that you're doing something, no matter how small, to help improve your mindset. So with that in mind I decided to to accept Kirsty's kind invitation to write a blog for the self-care Sunday series. I've decided to write partly as a Mum and partly as a tutor/teacher.
Me as Mummy
As we all know lockdown has impacted all of us in so many ways and is continuing to do so. If I'm totally honest, I've actually found the easing of lockdown much harder than actual lockdown (I know!). During lockdown I worked hard to keep a positive mindset; reminding myself that other people were in a far worse position than me, doing a daily workout, enjoying long walks in our local woodland, baking with my daughter and just enjoying the slower pace of life.
Then the easing of lockdown happened and I stopped those things and noticed I wasn't feeling that great! I hadn't been working out, walks in the woods had pretty much stopped and I didn't seem to have as much time for my daughter what with her being back at school and life slowing returning to 'normal'.
I did what so many of us do, looked on social media and saw people out having a 'great' time yet here I was still stuck indoors with a clingy baby and a 5 year old who doesn't stop talking even just for 1 minute! I felt like I should be going out, enjoying myself, having a break from the girls after being with them for so long but what I've realised is, for me, this is not selfcare.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy those things and they always help to make me feel better but day to day these things are not a reality so I've been looking at other ways to help with selfcare and breaking the negative mindset cycle.
Recently, I started a diary whereby I record the simple little day to day things that I am thankful for, this has helped me to enjoy the now and realise just how lucky I am. I've also taken some time out with just my 5 year old and I'm starting to work out again, yoga has been amazing. But something I really love and always have is music, it's always been my escapism. So, everyday I put on some music, sit and listen with headphones on, clear my mind and refocus. I find blocking out the noise of the day (even though the girls are in bed at this point) really helps me and is probably the best self-care I give myself, I always notice when I haven't done it and never feel quite as relaxed.
I'm hoping that from this you will see that there really is at least one positive in every day and whilst we would all love to be out enjoying ourselves more often, it just isn't reality for so many of us. So look at your day to day and once a day find something very small that helps you to be thankful. I've found the more I do it the more I'm thankful for. And, if only for 5 minutes a day, try to do something small that helps with your self care, it could even be just a sing-along in the shower. Whatever yours is, do it! Even just for 5 minutes, it really does help and doesn't have to be a big event.
Me as teacher/tutor
Let's face it being a parent is hard work at the best of times but trying to home school, work from home, stress about the changes happening around us and run the house well that was a whole other level! And now comes the stress of the children going back to school and all the worries that come with it.
I've had so many messages from worried parents; have I been doing enough? Are they behind? Is school safe? Will this have a lasting impression? Let me assure you now, you've done enough. Some children may have done more but equally there may be children who have done less. You did what you could at that time for your own mental health and that of your child which is far more important than anything else. We're over that hurdle and I'm sure there are so many good memories you made with your children during that time, hold onto them, think about them and give yourself a pat on the back (or that glass of gin) because you deserve it.
As for the return to school, let me assure you that the teachers are ready to do the best they can, we know there will be children who will struggle, we know some parents are feeling anxious and we know it's a scary time. We understand and feel it too. The amazing thing about all the teachers, and ALL school staff for that matter, that I've worked with over the years is that they care so passionately about the children and families they work with and want them to be happy and feel safe. They will feel this more than ever and are ready.
If your child comes home and is worried or anxious let their teacher know but also allow your child the chance to share the worries with you (if they want to) or, like all of us, if they need to cool off for a bit then let then find their way to do this. My daughter loves a bit of down time on the tablet, most children do and if it's what they need to help with their own selfcare then let it happen, it's no different to us needing a bit of time! It's always good to be aware of what the children are watching and the amount of time they spend on a device. If you would rather avoid the devices then there are some great and cheap mindful colouring books available or if you have access to YouTube on your T.V give cosmic kids a follow, this is great for meditation, yoga and mindfulness for children. I use it at home with my daughter (and I quite like it myself) and in my classroom and it always goes down a hit.
But most importantly remember to be kind to yourself, you've got this.
The link to my Facebook page is :
Over the next few weeks Abundance TEC will be featuring guest bloggers on our website and social media platforms to support Self-Care Sunday.
The aim is to raise awareness as to why self-care is so important and to highlight a variety of ways you can implement self-care into your everyday routine to support positive mental health and well-being. These inspiring business owners and bloggers will be providing their own version of what self-care means to them and why they do what they do to look after themselves.
Thank you to the beautiful, intelligent, and wonderful Kylie for sharing her self-care tips, journey and passion this week.
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